Tuesday, November 1, 2011


I have been feeling very lonely lately for some reason. Not in a relationship way, just in general. Like I feel like in growing up, we are alone in most things we do, even if we are surrounded by people who love us. Everyone is out for themselves in the end.

I also feel like I lack feeling most of the time. Like, if something really amazing happened right now, I would probably just be like, "That's cool." In the same way, if something really terrible happened, I would probably cry, but I would actually be feeling sort of indifferent about it (depending on what it was). I'm not sure what's going on :/

I also think I have seasonal depression. I always start to get really depressed in the fall because I know winter is coming and the next few months will take forever. Christmas doesn't even excite me anymore. I worry about bad weather, I don't want to work or go to school, I just want to lay around all day. I feel lonely and unmotivated. And there are less opportunities in the winter, there is nothing fun to do. In the spring and summer, I feel so much happier and have much more motivation to get things done. My worries seem much easier to deal with in the summer, too.

I do believe people go through stages of depression, and most of the time, it will fix itself without medication. I would never subject myself to taking antidepressants. However, seasonal depression is treated with light boxes. I might give the light box treatment a try just to see if it works. I go through this every year, though, so if the light box doesn't help, I'll just have to wait until spring to feel normal again. :)

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